I've gone sooo wrong...

I don't know how to fix it all. I want my son to be better more than anything. My kids are my focus at this moment. Yet in the past I have of course thought of my own happiness and I know that has importance too. At the current time, my husband is saying he's moving out. We're getting along and the kids don't have any idea. It's just because we can't seem to get it together.

I want it. I don't want it. I think it's the best for the kids and I think it will make things worse. I'm a complete mess.

I don't know how I should try to sort this in my mind? Pros and cons? Talk to the kids somehow?? I just don't know...

I love him. I haven't been in love wih him in forever. No more therapists for us. We've done that. It's time for us to decide on our own. We're soooo dependent on eachother even though we don't get along as husband and wife. 20 years is a long time. He's my only. Neither of us have ever been alone.

If you were to know me as a child, I don't think any of you would recognize me as the woman I am today. I was the girl who hid behind her Mom's leg when people said hello to me and didn't speak without much urging from my Mom. I always preferred to hang out with the adults over kids my own age. I hated school. Not the academics of it, because I liked homework! It was the social part of it. I was the girl that many people didn't even know was in their class because I was so shy. I only spoke when the teacher called on me and would see the teacher privately after or before class with questions (only if he or she was approachable). I'd get stomach aches almost every day of elementary school and still even in high school if we had to do any type of presentation. Also, I was never good at sports or gym and used to get very nervouse about Phys. Ed. Girls were so competitive. I never was picked to be on a team and I was no good. I knew it! They would get so mad if I missed the ball. It would crush me. I didn't want to ruin there game either. Even college, I was still shy. I don't have any college friends at all. I never went out of my way to meet anyone other than my room mate, who I went to school with. I talked to people casually but not to the point were we would be considered friends.

To think that I've come to the point where most days I can get up and speak in front of 100 or so kids every day, teach them and keep the class in control amazes me. Yet I'm soooo glad that this is an area where I have improved. Now if I can just work on some of my other weaknesses! It only took me about 30 years to get over this one! LOL

well, I was going to put the video here so I could sing it to myself and watch but it wouldn't work.

But I'll talk about music and moods?

Do lots of you listen to different music according to your moods? I definitely do.

Rascal Flatts reminds me of someone as do lots of songs and artists. I tend to connect music with the people and events in my life.